idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
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I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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