Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
