watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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