my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
