i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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