He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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