A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
