Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
