Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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