happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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