Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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