do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
