Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
