His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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