Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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