Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
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she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
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Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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