singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
