from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize