Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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