Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
