We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize