she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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