I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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