Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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