just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
