I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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