it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
