I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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