Your dad touched me again.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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