She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
