You're so nebulous sometimes
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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