i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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