need another drink. this is the easiest way
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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