he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
