i don't plan on having that self control this summer
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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