Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
