Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
