I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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