it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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