My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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