I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
