Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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