its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
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