Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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