dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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