She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
