your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
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