Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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