uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
