when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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