Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
