3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
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Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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