eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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