I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
