speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
