she was so not down for the gang bang
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
