and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
