He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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