im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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