Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i've created a new STD.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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