Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
