It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
