My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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