he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
