and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
