We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize